06-15-10

I am toying around with dusting this blog off and taking a new approach to it.
That may change tomrrow and this post ,along with the rest of the blog and a million other things in my life may sit here in the dark for an unknown amount of time.
We'll see.

For today. I am going to ramble on.

I want to be the wife and mother God wants me to be.
I want to be the daughter,friend and sister he wants me to be.
How? How do I get there? How will I know? Will I ever know?

God has worked so many amazing blessings into my life and I often find myself feeling selfish for taking so much for granted. I slip up DAILY in my self absorbed thoughts and *worry* about stuff. Stuff that I really have no buisness getting so worked up over. I get tunnel vision and get consumed with that one little factor and do not see the complete full picture around me.

This has caused a great deal of stress in my marriage. This has put a huge stamp of disfunction in one of the most important relationships in my life.
Some people are compulsive eaters. Some people are addicted to drugs. I think I am addicted to worry. Is that possible?
I have hear sermon after sermon , read book after book and it all says the same thing.
" Give your worry to God."
" You can not fully develop your relationship with God unless/until you can fully trust him and give him your worry."

Can I just say "Aaaaaaacccck!!!"
Over and over again I try.
Over and over again I ask.

Is my inability to overcome this work of Satan or just lack of my knowledge of Gods word? Both?
What am I missing?

God- Please put peace in my heart and my mind. Please give me the ability to cast my worries to you and walk the path you desire for me. I cry out to you Father! Please.